Rationalism, Insecurity, Prologue?

So this new outlet of mine starts with a mundane thought, really just a off the cuff venting. I've already written a thing or two I'll be posting soonish, and parts of it won't make sense, I'm sure. But some of this stuff coming up happened in insanity, was madness, and was soaked in chaos, so I guess that's to be expected.

I've been questioning myself alot lately. Far more then I like to, probably more then I should. Enough that when I was told tonight to get a furniture dolly back, my first thought was "Did I lose it? Did I forget I loaned it out?" I've been having some memory issues lately, not sure why, but it was possible I forgot.

A phone call later, I've learned I -didn't- loan it out. I just have the number of the guy who it was loaned to. Great, guess that puts me in charge. I almost blamed myself and felt bad, like I've done alot lately, without knowing or even trying to find out if it was really my fault. But in a rational moment, I realized this isn't my fault.

Will I try to fix it? Yes. Will things that are my fault come up, that I'll have to fix? Yes, and I hope to keep the strength to see them through. But a clear head is what I'll need to see things through, I think. That's one thing I've got to find, keep, and work on.